Based on Peter Block’s renowned book “Flawless Consulting®”
In any meaningful consulting relationship, resistance is not a detour, it’s part of the journey. Whether you’re an internal leader or an internal or external consultant, the presence of resistance often signals that you’re touching something important, something real.
At Effiqual | Designed Learning Canada, we treat resistance not as a barrier to success, but as a gift, a signal from the system that something beneath the surface needs to be acknowledged, respected, and addressed. In the Flawless Consulting® model, dealing with resistance isn’t about overcoming objections or defusing conflict. It’s about welcoming it, listening deeply, and partnering with clients to uncover the underlying truths that resistance brings into the room.
Resistance: A Signal, not a Problem
Too often, consultants are trained to “handle” resistance as if it were a nuisance, something to be resolved quickly so the “real work” can begin. But in Flawless Consulting®, we flip that narrative.
Resistance is the real work.
Whenever we encounter resistance, it usually means one of two things:
- We’ve touched a sensitive area the client hasn’t fully processed
- There is a deeper concern or unspoken reality that hasn’t been voiced
In either case, resistance is an indirect but powerful form of communication. It’s the system’s way of saying, Something important is happening here. Pay attention.
Resistance Is Emotional Before It Is Rational
One of the core insights in the Flawless Consulting® approach is that resistance is not always logical. It’s often emotional.
Clients may show resistance without knowing why. A request you’ve made might be entirely reasonable, yet it triggers discomfort. You may be stating your wants clearly, and suddenly, the client pulls back.
Why? Because the emotional undercurrent has shifted. Perhaps the client feels a loss of control. Perhaps they’re uncomfortable with vulnerability. Perhaps they’ve never had a consultant (or leader) say, “Here’s what I want from you.”
In Effiqual | Designed Learning Canada’s systems thinking model, we understand resistance as a process signal, not just a reaction to content. This means we look not only at what is being discussed, but how the relationship is unfolding. Resistance often says more about the process than the issue itself.
Where Resistance Shows Up
Resistance can appear at any stage of a consulting engagement, but it’s especially common:
- When consultants begin to state their own wants
- When boundaries are introduced or clarified
- When diagnostic findings challenge the client’s assumptions
- When decision-making pressure starts to rise
These are inflection points, moments when the system is being asked to stretch. And stretching, while necessary, is rarely comfortable.
Welcoming Resistance: A Relational Skill
The key move in Flawless Consulting® is not to avoid or overcome resistance, but to welcome it.
When a client shows resistance, we pause. We acknowledge what’s happening. And we create space for exploration. We might say:
- “It seems like there’s some hesitation here, can we talk about it?”
- “You seem unsure, would it help to slow down and revisit this part?”
- “I’m sensing some tension, what’s going on for you right now?”
These are not tricks, they’re invitations. By naming the resistance gently and openly, we help the client articulate what they may not even know they’re feeling. We build safety. We cultivate trust.
We hold the emotional complexity of the moment without rushing it, and help transform that tension into new understanding.
The Root Causes of Resistance
In a systems thinking framework, resistance is rarely caused by a single factor. Instead, it emerges from interconnected dynamics, which may include:
- Unclear expectations (content issue)
- Unspoken fears (emotional issue)
- Shifts in perceived power (relational issue)
- Concerns about competence or failure (identity issue)
- Poor past experiences with consultants (historical issue)
Rather than treat resistance as defiance, we treat it as data. And like all good data, it needs interpretation, with empathy, curiosity, and humility.
Resistance in Response to Wants
One particularly sensitive area is when consultants begin to state their own wants. This is a core practice in Flawless Consulting®, and one that often surprises clients.
Clients may be used to having consultants simply serve their agenda. When a consultant says, “Here’s what I want in order to serve you well,” it disrupts that dynamic. It introduces equality, boundaries, and mutual responsibility, and that can be unsettling.
Resistance, in this case, is a natural response to a new kind of relationship. The consultant is not a passive observer, they’re a partner. And partnership requires participation from both sides.
Tools for Meeting Resistance
In our Flawless Consulting®: Resistance workshop, we introduce several key tools for navigating these moments, including:
- Empathic acknowledgment: Naming the resistance without judgment
- Clarifying the “how”: Revisiting the relational process if it’s become strained
- Re-grounding in partnership: Reminding both parties of the shared commitment to mutual success
- Listening for the unspoken: Paying attention to nonverbal cues and emotional undercurrents
These skills are not about finesse or manipulation; they are about respecting the client’s humanity while holding firm in your own.
Resistance as a Systems Pattern
Resistance is rarely just about one person. It’s a pattern that reflects something about the system as a whole.
Maybe the organization has a culture of avoidance. Maybe decision-makers are afraid of conflict. Maybe past consultants bulldozed their way through projects, and the team is still recovering.
Whatever the case, resistance is not a problem to fix, it’s a pattern to explore.
At Effiqual | Designed Learning Canada, we train consultants and leaders to read these signals systemically, and to respond not with force, but with presence.
Why Resistance Is a Gift
Ultimately, resistance is a gift, one that tells us:
- There’s more here than meets the eye
- Someone cares enough to push back
- A deeper truth is trying to surface
When we welcome resistance, we open a door to authentic dialogue. We help clients move from defensiveness to insight. From discomfort to alignment. From hesitation to ownership.
Resistance is nature’s way of saying, “Pay attention. Something important is happening.”
Ready to Redefine Resistance?
Join our Flawless Consulting® workshops to build your confidence in navigating tough conversations with grace and power. Learn to read resistance as insight, not opposition, and turn it into your most valuable consulting asset.
Because when we meet resistance with openness, we unlock the wisdom the system has been waiting to share.
